Bangkok or Bust - Part 8

Setting off from Saraburi

Rise and shine from the Hotel babylon early doors and off I blasted. Traffic was pretty congested headed through Saraburi but once out of the city it was plain sailing.

Highway 1 - The Final Leg

Roads were pretty quiet, not too bad for the first twenty miles or so.

Getting pretty near to bangkok now, the traffic is still holding thin.

Once the Ayuthaya highway joined onto Highway 1 the fun really started, constant streams and great runs of traffic. As the bikers who've rode the Bangkok trail will know, it's a chancy business just pulling over with stream after stream of fast traffic behind, coming in from the joining lanes and exit lanes, so alas, I couldn't any more 'side of the road' angled-shots off I'm afraid.

Arrival in Bangkok

Well, there were no lines of well-wishers or jubilent crowds greeting the home-coming farang from the lofty exile of Chiang Mai but the traffic wasn't hostile either and was more flowing than last time.

From previous experience I knew my bearings for the most part and just rolled into my destination, it took just under 2 hours from Saraburi to my residence in Bangkok, not bad going. Cross-filtering through traffic is fairly easy, even with two packs and 12 kilos in weight on you. For a big beefcake it would be somewhat more tricky on cross-filtering but perhaps easier to shoulder and bear the weight on long distance.

Arrival in Bangkok - Lessons learned from the Tour

The whole 'lets-talk-about-the-farang-who-is-over-there' mentality is very evident in every city south of Tak I visited. I think when you have an area with hardly any foreigners in it, like Lopburi or Chai Nat for example, there is a natural suspicion and intrigue from certain Thais. I certainly didn't encounter any hostility, but there was a certain attitude displaced that bordered on wary resentment and 'picaninny-sterotyping' from some groups, worryingly these tended to be the younger generation from mid-teens to late twenties. I think the younger generation are not as farang-friendly as some would have us believe.

The nicest cities seemed to be Lampang and Nakhon Sawan, the most unfriendly tended to be Chai Nat, Saraburi and Lopburi. But this might of just been bad timing, as some can have a great time and enjoy themselves if the timing is right.

Riding lessons, I'd definately say take a poncho that is heavy duty and, if you can source them, get some waterproof socks if riding in the rainy season.

The locations of very cheap and convienient hotels and dwellings are now a real boon and it means I can just roll north and jump into a city and get digs pretty much straight away.

Bangkok or Bust - Part 7

Setting off from Lopburi

I was out of bed and up early, glad to be saying good riddance to the Hotel Ovenbake and leaving it to the ants and dragon women, I held the throttle is held wide open for the first ten minutes or so just to purge myself of the place once and for all.

I didn't look back at this place and was glad to be shaking the dust from my heels to be brutally honest.

Just a short blast to the next city now, no rain now thank God. A few lumping clouds floating about gray and threatening but not a drop falls. I think this might mark the last day of the rainy season.

Arrival in Saraburi

Compared to Lopburi, Saraburi is a major provincial city, the close proximity to Bangkok helps with this and there are plenty of shops and sprawling commercial outlets far and wide here. There I spot a Thai script only hotel and think my luck's in. It's on the main road and looks promising. I pull up and do a kind-of U-turn to ride the pavement to the very doors of the place, dodging people and stalls. Hoping this is all worth it I step inside.

WatchRiders Interlude

Timewarp Hotel

I feel like I've stepped back in time to the 1960s. An old doddering dude comes shuffling out having just finished mopping the floors! He walks behind the counter, he's none other than the reception man as well!

Admiring the fact that multi-trades are still alive and well in Asia we start negotiating rates. I go for an air-con room at a bargain basement rockin' 260 baht per night. I decide, on a whim, to look over the room first. A bellhop, who doesn't offer to carry my bags, (I'm not suprised) is summoned. As we leave the lobby behind I glance behind me and, to my suprise, notice a switchboard circa 1960s gathering dust but still in working order! Resisting the urge to fiddle and mess with it I carry on up the stairs.
Once we reach the room the musty odour is overpowering. This room comes without a TV, no probs the laptop will do. A single white neon tube running across the dresser is all that lights the room, it isn't nearly enough but I'm a can-do kinda guy. The aircon is nowhere to be seen, I do a triple take but nothing mounted apart from this box-shaped black void thing set into the wall. Then I realise that the box-thing IS the aircon, the entire shell has been removed and the bare bones and metal vanes are there for all to see.
An aircon mechanic could probably brush up on his skills just looking at the thing. The control system would not look out of place in Chernobyl, just an 'off and on' switch that could probably control a substation. I push the on-button magneto swtich to check the system works. It shudders, judders and whirrs like an ancient sewing machine, but amazingly cold air emits after ten seconds or so. I'm almost ready to commit to the timewarp hotel when I decide to check the bathroom.

There's no hot water but for the price I'm not too bothered about that, besides which, if you get your timing right at the hotest part of the day it's usually not too unpleasant.
The smell is bad though, compared to other mildewy bathrooms this is humming. The kicker is the toilet, I don't mind squatter-type toilets or western-style crappers of course. But a sit-down toilet with no seat really is not fit for a human arse and I was making no exceptions.
The doddering dude however, when I explain the Timewarp Hotel is not for me, is understanding. He then points out to a distant hotel with a mighty sign atop it (in Thai) for all to see. It means a U-turn against the morning mad-hour traffic but what the hell this was no time to be fussy!

A Sojurn at the Hotel Babylon

I get to the hotel, a chinese-owned one with more of a late 1980s/90s feel. The rates are not too bad, 450 baht a night with all the trimmings. I know I'm getting close to Bangkok when the reception man makes a somewhat risque proposition concerning his massage girls and a few hours of their company! I name the place the Hotel Babylon, it has a certain garish and sleazy appeal. Undeniably a pretty looking place, but the subtle signs like the gaudy curtains and thick atmosphere. On one level it could be considered a low-key bordello whorehouse for residents. It is clean and Chinese operated, so I knew there would be no bs, and it also catered to Bachelors like myself, with Kareoke, massage parlour area, lifts and dining area.

I go for a mornings exploration and, to my suprise, I sight a steakhouse on the outskirts, south of the city. I've not eaten a steak in weeks and figure its time to splash out some of the hoarded funds on this one. I open the menu and order the finest steak (or at least the most expensive) in the house!
The steak is ostritch meat no less! I never even imagined there was such a thing, in any case, it outprices T-bone and costs a poo-yai-reaching 222 baht. Expecting the real deal I awaited my feast.
15 minutes later. This is what I got.

As a scale, an adults thumb is as long as the steak piece and it tasted overcooked and like chicken steak gone wrong. Too chewy, bland and fairly tastless. Overpriced? Definately!
I did not tip them big and vowed to steer clear of ossie meat in the future.

It was a buzz around the city then, making my last rounds before the final showdown in Bangkok.

The mindset on the locals in small provincial cities is radically different to that in the Capitol. The children seem to be taught differently about foreigners, or at least their attitude and blaise racist comments seem to show a lack of education. Such is the younger generation of Thais it seems. The little brats seem to inhabit a PC gamer world of shoot-each other relentlessly. Now I'm all for a bit of action and adventure on the video game world. But we're talking a cheap Half-life clone 'shoot the other players before they shoot you, over and over, very little skill involved apart from spray and pray, throw a grenade etc etc ad nauseum.' Give them Silent Hunter III or anything involving actual brain power and they'd probably be on the floor a gibbering wreck! The scary thing is all over Thailand the whole LAN gaming scene is probably sowing the seeds for an entire generation of thai boys who will like to inherently fight over reason every time. Hey, maybe I shouldn't be too critical of them though, they way they are going on will probably mean when it's time for mia nois in my 50s the Thai women will not want anything to do with them! Just being overly critical there folks, don't take what I mean too seriously.

I left the cyber cafe and headed back to the Hotel Babylon for an early night, got a knock at the door, it was some older Thai woman asking if I wanted a Thai lady! The Hotel Babylone certainly is trying its best in attaining customer satisfaction have no doubt!
I mulled it over briefly, with an early start and the joys of Bangkoks traffic to contend with I really did not want any entanglements or distractions, so I turned her down without price enquiry.
If I'd faced an easy journey to look forward to I might of gone with the flow to see what happened but I'd need my edge and instinct for the gauntlet through traffic the next day. It may sound lame, especially to the thrusting sugar daddies who don't do much in their apartments and houses, but you DO operate better if you haven't been having sex to completion the previous night. And I wasn't risking a busted up body and bike for a 2 hour wonder session not even for my OTRT fans out there!

The Farang Factor: Didn't spot one. Which is suprising given its proximity to Bangkok. (The cyber kids have probably scared them away WR - Ed)

Bangkok or Bust - Part 6

Setting off from Chai Nat

Rain was threatening again this morning but, despite a few specks here and there didn't downpour. Which is just as well as I'd been hasty in my packing and would of ended up soaked through!

A nice long stretch here to blast down.

Although only a fairly short distance to Lopburi route, this takes a long, winding curve before heading southwards and onto Lopburi, so it takes longer than you think.

At first I thought I'd arrived in Lopburi city center itself here, but this more of a garrison village for the 4 or 5 barracks that line the route towards the city center further on. I did find a remote 'hotel' but it was a very ramshackle short-time bordello more than a place to stay.

Arrival at Lopburi

Found a handy hotel right off the main highway here. The woman in charge was a bit of a dragon, but the price was right at 200 baht a night so in I went. My timing was right once again as not only were other hotels thin on the ground but the heavens opened just after I'd entered and the rain pounded it down for a good few hours. Once again my biker guardian senses had prevented a soaking!

The Hotel Ovenbake!

I'd not landed on my feet completely though, my laptop nearly got infested with ants who'd decided to play war game on the rooms table. In fact, the whole room was infested with the little bstards. They weren't the big fire ants which move fairly slowly, but were the tiny roadrunner ants that find every crevice and cranny of an item and scurry about like furies. Not only ants but other crawling things were mooching about the room. I went out to sample the nightlife, while I didn't explore the extent of Lopburi, it does seem to have more than Chai Nat, at least judging by the scantily clad ladies I keep seeing to-ing and fro-ing from the 7-11.

Once in bed I actually used my own sleeping bag cover to make myself feel a bit more comfortable.
The heat baked in the room, even with the pathetic little fan on full it wasn't until about 1am that the room was at a normal temperature. Believe me I wasn't going to be missing this place at all. The people do not seem friendly for the most part here and yes the rooms were 5000 kilos of buffalo crap.

The Farang Factor: Just the one accompanied by his rotund thai woman leaving the Hotel Ovenbake. He looked happy to be leaving, I'm not suprised!

Bangkok or Bust - Part 5

Setting off from Nakhon Sawan

Was a bit late in getting up for the next leg, but traffic wasn't too bad and I was out of the city for about 10am to get the next leg underway.

Highway 1 - Road Fatigue

Highway 1 pictures, I make no attempt to disguise the fact that I am getting road fatigue now. A days rest here and there is not enough for a protracted bike tour if you want to eliminate road fatigue.
It's not a physical fatigue, but more of a mental one, wishing the trip was over etc.

The constant starting and stopping in the next city, finding hotels and seeking out the unknown, the unpacking and re-packing of gear, getting the trip reports and photos sent up to the editor for checking and then uploading.
I still enjoy the buzz, but the action-factor does start to drain your energy banks over a period of time.

I was tempted to settle in to Nakhon Sawan for a few months to get some reports done and take in some R and R. But the call of Bangkok is stronger I guess. However, I agree with the other expats that Highway 1 is a boring highway anyway which does compound road fatigue.

Highway 1 Central Thailand

Compare to the challenging twisting mountain routes of Chiang Mai Province Highway 1 is a walk in the part. It's too easy and the mind gets bored easily. For all that though I did this trip 4 years ago from Phitsanoluk on a Honda Sonic and it was a lot tougher back then than it is now, partly cause I was a rookie for knowing the routes and ways compared with now.

The weather is still threatening the odd shower but typically it stays overcast in the morning till mid-day, clears a bit, then in the afternoon for about 3 hours then it's a downpour.

Arrival in Chai Nat

Like most of the other cities I've been to now there are these banner things, there looks to be a celebratory event in Mid November.

Only one or two hotels in Chai Nat, although listed on the maps as a city, it really is only town at that. About 2 cyber cafes and zero bars or nightlife. I'm glad I'm only staying one night.

The Farang Factor: Didn't spot one. But that is not suprising, this place is sleepy hollow when it comes to the night scene.

Bangkok or Bust - Part 4

Part IV

Setting off from Kamphaeng Pet

After navigating out of the tricky one-way system onto highway 1 again the new backpack I'd bought was giving me some grief, so after stopping and re-adjusting the whole load I was ready. Going long-distance with a bad load on your back is a no-no, the discomfort and distraction can be lethal in the wrong set of circumstances.

The Highway after Kamphaeng Pet, as you can imagine from the route map above, very boring. The 'Holeway effect' continues to a lesser extent but as long as you don't hammer it and keep to under 100 kph (on a bike) you should spot them in time and evade them easily.

Thailands road to nowhere, it just goes on and on...

Some nice views here though, away to the west.

Getting closer to Bangkok now. After the Nakhon Sawan checkpoint I'll probably go for a couple more rest-stops and then make the final fling into Bangkok.

Hang a left turn up ahead and this will get you on the road to Nakhon Sawan.

Nakhon Sawan

One of the first sights you'll see of Nakhon Sawan is this hill temple in the distance overlooking the city. The hill and temple dominate the landscape. With the river on one side and the hill temple on the other, it's hard to get lost in this city.

City Sights of Nakhon Sawan

At the river market and pier.

These boats will get you to the other side of the Chao Praya river in no time.

These little thai terrapin dooks would cost an arm and leg back home in the west.
I asked how much and was told 40 baht for the small ones and 50 baht for the big one!

The Farang Factor: Just one with his eldery thai woman blitzing some emails off in a cafe, and that was it!

Bangkok or Bust - Part 3

Setting off from Tak

The Monsoon Cometh!

Setting off...

Another early start, but my good fortune at avoiding the rains had ran out. A relentless rain was pouring down when I awoke, by the time I'd had breakfast and finalised my gear the rain was nowhere near stopping. In fact just by glancing at the sky alone I could see it was a lasting rainfall. So it was a choice between waiting it out, or just riding hell for leather and getting to the next city. I considered for a moment staying on another day but the city, for its size, was hardly worth exploring as it was no bigger than a large English village in reality.
So I squared my shoulders for the task ahead and gamely chucked the backpack on my shoulders,

The primary shoulder strap decided to part company! Out came the gaffer tape and a prayer or two to the traveling gods. With the secondary strap I gambled on it holding for the next leg of the trip. This wasn't going to be a long distance road marathon leg though, just a short blast to the next city of Kamphaeng Pet.

Into the Jaws of Rain

Now I'd liked to of got some shots off of to show what the next 2 and a half hours was like. Alas my wonder camera, marvel of technology that it is, isn't rain-proof and even for you guys reading my tales I can't risk a screwed up camera at 18k a pop. The whole experience was, to say the least, 'somewhat uniquely exquisite' in a 'one-of-a-kind' way. It was not unlike some some roving explorer journeying into the unknown with nearly everything getting thrown at you!

My leathers got soaked, as did all the pockets, as did the trusty thai army boots, I'd lined the main compartment with a cheap poncho that basically tore apare when I tried stretching it over the leathers. It made a good seal and kept the water out there though. My laptop, was damp but not soaked thoroughly. My foot ended up with a near-popped vein cause of the vibration from the clutch lever and the cheap thai boots I'd used.

Road Lore: A neat little trick is to shoulder the laptop (arm and head through) first. Then put your backpack on and ensure it 'sits' on top of the laptop. As long as it isn't more than a 75 litre capacity it shouldn't sit too high above your head. This will allow the laptop to rest on the seat behind you supporting the weight of the backpack. As well as taking a good 50-70% of the load weight off your shoulders it means that the rain will not directly be landing on your laptop (as you'll be moving forward, through the rain), and will hit the backpack instead.

Where the Highway becomes the Holeway...

The journey was arduous but not suicidal, if the rain got too heavy and dangerous finding road shelters along the way wasn't that much of a quest. The road had plenty of damage and wear and tear though. It seems like the highways agency has either run out of money for this area or the ground is unstable. There were the usual potholes AND subsistence affected road patches. We're talking great big patches of up to 2 - 3 square meters here not the wee small ones common to Thailand. These sort of patches and potholes that will throw a rider clean off if you hit them wrong. The ground shift had caused vast areas of the Highway to be pockmarked and cracked with them. The best way of describing them would be 'cracked and sunken-in' sections.

After about 5 miles of them I grimly mused that the way to Kamphaeng Pet wasn't so much a Highway, but a Holeway and I've marked the route map accordingly! The added kicker was that the rainy conditions I was riding in the holes were almost perfectly camouflaged until you were nearly on top of them.
You'd be riding, weaving and dodging past them while a convoy of big trucks and lorry's would power past hitting them willy nilly. The water explosions were kinda cool to watch the first few times, until one came your way and hits you like a train. I nearly got knocked off the first time this happened. After a while though a rider pulled ahead of me, he knew the road as he dodged nearly all the road holes and I was thankful as using him as a guide as the holeway stretched away into the distance. I got through the treacherous highway relatively unscathed when the holeway became highway again. The rain gods weren't finished with me though, the next blast of weather was light hail, amplified by the speed I was traveling at meant a stinging lashing for a good few miles. I withstood that and the next batch was even greater hail! This was a ninja-test alright and thankfully when it ended, so did the rain (mostly).
So despite my grim forecast of a lasting day of rain I was thankfully wrong and the clouds soon cleared after about 2 hours of vile weather. I got a bit drier when the sun came out but not by much.

Kamphaeng Pet

Compared with Tak this place is a real city, plenty of roads and density for things. I got lucky and sighted some lodgings within a minute of arriving. It was a fairly small and cheap kamphaeng pet hotel for 190 baht per night. It was rough and ready but clean enough. . Once settled in there I got all my things out to dry and sourced another backpack pronto.
Incidentally this city was where I had my first (and hopefully only) near-miss of the trip. Just a crazy pick-up driver who, inexplicably, wouldn't give me an inch of space for doing a U-Turn despite tons of signaling and careful positioning but this is Thailand!

The Ping River runs all the way past Kamphaeng Pet and makes for a decent walk early morning and in the late evening/night-time.

Cruising about the streets I could see a more than a few nightspots, several run by farangs. Putting it several rungs above Tak in that respect. There are a lot of one-way systems though and they take a while to get used to.

Inside the Secret Bordello

I allowed for 2 days to get my gear dry and replace broken and knackered bits of kit. I got a brand new gear back, a mighty 75 liter thing with twin reinforced steel strips in. The seller was helpful in modifying so it could be shouldered and not give a biker grief. The twin reinforcing strips are a good modification BUT they can puncture the stitching so take a hacksaw blade and trim them accordingly if they poke too far through the sleeves.

The second night I got talking to a farang called Nigel who runs the TT bar. He's a gregarious enough chap, who was upset that his sign wasn't done right. He then explained that he was certain the cheap and cheerful lodgings I was residing in was a full blown knocking shop! After a good 5 minutes of bantering it seemed that the ajoining bar/restaurant annex certainly was suspect! On my way back I peeked in the door. Yep, girls, guys doing the prelude thing. I ducked back before I was grabbed and yanked in to join the party. Could of had a dance, but it was a pretty bottom of the barrel kinda deal.

I checked my gear, the boots were dry (ish) but the leathers just would not dry! I went to the bathroom and contemplated another night at the secret bordello when the biggest cockroach I'd ever seen scuttled about inside! That was the last straw for me, I don't mind if they are doing their thing outside in the streets and scavanging about at the vendors stalls, but in the room its something else. Damp leathers be damned, I was leaving the next morning and that was that!

Next stop on the Odyssey is Nakhon Sawan.

The Farang Factor: Quite a few, and they are a fairly quirky bunch!